When Peace Replaces Depression

February 19, 2019; 3:04 p.m.

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It comes in waves like a rough, Winter storm

And then leaves you dried out, cold with nowhere to turn

"Speak positive affirmations," they say

And I do, I do it every day

I preach it to others but am I really thinking it within?

It comes in waves and settles for a while

Then my sea of thoughts become valid for a while

It’s clear and blue

Until it’s rough again; rough and new

What is depression? And how can I stop it?

How can I live my best life without having the repercussions?

Can’t drink, can’t eat, can’t indulge how I wanna

'Cause the things of the world know exactly how to put me under

Then why does this “joy” taste so sweet when I have it?

Ion even yearn for it, it just happens

And when it’s all said & done, it’s a conversation for our memories

& we 3-way call and text and plan for the next one

Adventures without promise or commitment or passion,

Just another rope to pull in my depression

Sigh... I know, sounds like life ain’t it

But that’s the thing, I never say "F" it or quit

So is it even depression when you smile through it all?

Is it even depression when you blow down the wall?

Is it even depression when you see someone else fall

& you automatically put your pain aside to help ‘em stand tall?

I hear it’s high-functioning, like you look alright

But on the inside be a mess sometimes

So what’s the solution?

Prayer takes some time

But trust me, I get it

You won’t always smile

But it’s crazy how when you let it out,

When you talk about it

& repeat those words

To yourself at least, a smaller wave comes over you

And that wave is PEACE.

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If it's 2:00 a.m. and you're up like I am, the writing above is especially for you. You're not alone in your loneliness, but remember peace. It's a small wave that won't drown you; it'll keep you afloat. I promise.

I love you.

- Every piece by Nylah D. Oliver is written with you in mind; through you and for you.